i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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