I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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