get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
