true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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