Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
