She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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