Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize