I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
