dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My dick has a subreddit
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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