dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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