Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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