If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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