i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
