I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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