I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
