i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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