Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
