That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
