I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
