did you get engaged???
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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