At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
