I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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