Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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