Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
