i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
