i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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