and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
