If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
