I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
