he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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