I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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