I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
