i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
