weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
