Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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