Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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