the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You are the jesus of drinking
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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