Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
