I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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