The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize