I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
