Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
