I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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