i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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