I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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