walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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