I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we're making bets on your personal life
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
