Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I need water and some morals
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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