Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
