butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
