How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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