if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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