I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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