Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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