how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
