All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
