I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she smelled like a LAN party
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
