And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
