gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
