Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
