whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
