Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This is my gift to your gina
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
