We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize