he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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