She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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